Me at 12: Oh my god, who actually types without any proper grammar like that? >_< They're such preps and losers. I can't believe I'm smarter than someone older than me. D:<
Me now: yo gurl wassup u pretty sugoii today
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
Slutty next door neighbor, please take your slut friends inside so I don’t have to listen to your bullshit and be reminded that college sucks.
You know that friend thats being so hard to be different? STOP it.
EVERY DAMN TIME.
Whenever I'm friendly to someone: "Wow, he/she must think I'm a clingy, obsessed stalker."
Whenever I'm shy around someone: "Wow, he/she must think I'm a stuck-up, aloof asshole."
This is never going to work.